Love and Marriage
Our reading continues God’s instructions about submission by bringing it a bit closer to home, literally. Peter begins by addressing the need for wives to submit to their husbands. It is important to note that inclusion of the phrase “to your own husbands” makes it clear that God’s command was not a societal declaration of the subjugation of women under men in general. This is to be the marital pattern. We must also remember that marriage is a symbol of God’s interaction with the world. Because of this, God has some very specific rules concerning it.
Today’s reading flows directly from yesterday’s. This is not a new concept but a continuation of one. In the same way we are to submit to ruling authorities (whether righteous or evil), wives are to submit in their marital relationships. (Hence the use of the word “likewise” as the beginning our today’s reading.) In speaking of the form of submission wives are required to have towards their husband, David Guzik commented, “Submission to authority can be totally consistent with equality in importance, dignity, and honor.” Wives are not ‘less than’ merely under the authority and protection of their husbands. Wayne Grudem phrased it like this: “The command to wives to be subject to their husbands should never be taken to imply inferior personhood or spirituality, or lesser importance.”
After speaking on the submission of wives to their husbands, our reading takes a small rabbit trail away from this topic to address the true beauty of a godly woman. A godly woman should not put more focus and energy on her outward beauty than she does her inward beauty. This doesn’t mean we should all stop bathing or wearing jewelry. It is more a commission to ponder. Where is our focus? What do we, as godly women, value more? Our real finery and precious jewels are contained in our heart: our faith, our character, our love and our obedience to the Lord.
Finally, Peter ends his discourse on marriage with the husband. He tells them “live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex.” To live considerately with another person, you must take the time to get to know them. Your interactions with them will display that knowledge and understanding of their character. Husbands are commanded to do more than just show up for dinner. They are told to interact and take the time to try to ‘figure’ us out.
Husbands are then told to honor their wives. David Guzik comments, “The word in the ancient Greek language for the wife is a rare word, meaning more literally “the feminine one.” It suggests that the woman’s feminine nature should prompt the husband to honor her.” This concept of her femininity also leads to the reminder that she is weaker. Peter is here speaking of physical weakness not a spiritual one. This is a practical teaching for living. The reality is that for most of history and even in most marriages today, the woman handles all the dealings of the home while the husband works on providing food and shelter. Even though more and more women work outside of the home, this concept has not truly changed much. My husband does help around the house because I work outside of the home, but the ownership of cleaning and laundry still falls on my shoulders. Peter reminds his readers that women are not unbreakable. I think husbands need this reminder, and I appreciate it being in scripture. Many wives try to be superwoman. We work, we tend the children and the house, we volunteer, we add enrichment to our family, many of us handle the family finances, plan and prepare all the meals… the list continues to grow as our family does. Most of us rarely, if ever, complain though we grow weary and become overwhelmed. Often, husbands don’t notice our subtle cries for help because we stubbornly put on a smile and manage to check everything off our list. So here, God reminds men that we are not made of iron but of flesh and bone. Though hardly frail, wives are weaker and appreciate the help with our heavy burdens.
Marriage is a delicate dance. I admit that there are times when my husband and I are in perfect sync and then others when we are stomping on one another’s toes. It is good for us to read scriptures like today’s reading and remind ourselves of the proper order and attitude we need to have when we are married. Christian marriages are designed to be different than worldly ones. Neither they nor anything else God asks us to do are easy. The Christian walk is purposeful. Submission is purposeful and so is being worthy of that submission.
(Written by Keegan Harkins.)
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